On May 29th, 2017 at approximately 10:38 am I felt old. I spotted what may or may not be the first gray hair on my head. I can’t confirm it is a gray hair. It is possible it is a blond or platinum blond hair. There is a chance that the lighting in every bathroom I’ve used since this time is part of a global conspiracy to cast doubt about the veracity of the hair’s color.

The confirmation of the color is all the more difficult because the hair is in my sideburns which are a potpourri of color. The hair on my head falls somewhere between blond and brown but my beard is red. This leaves my sideburns in a bizarre demilitarize zone where the colors surrender themselves to their counterparts from the northern and southern hemisphere of my head. Because there’s so much action going on in my sideburns, I don’t have an easy means to contrast the hair and say “Aha! You are or are not a gray hair!”

I could remove the hair with tweezers to confirm with closer inspection, but I felt that this hair had a right to remain put.

Upon discovering the hair I immediately told my wife. I may have been in a mild panic, but she said “This happens when you get old.”

Hair has caused me to feel old for a decade. I have my grandfather’s hairline. When I was 19 or 20, my parents sat me down and gave me “the thinning hair talk.” I declined pursuing solutions. My rationale was that two of my heroes, Ian MacKaye and Billy Corgan, were both bald and it’d be fine if I were bald too.

Flash forward a few years to my wedding. I’m cringing at how I hate my comb over and wish all of my hair would fall out.

I don’t recall when I stopped combing my hair but until this Monday I was at peace with how heredity was causing it to fall out casually. With the discovery of this possible gray hair, the peace accord I have with my hair ceased for several hours as I wondered about my hairline, and the color of said hairline, that awaits me 10 to 15 years from now. The peace resumed when I reminded myself that newscaster hair isn’t everything. I’m now happy about the prospect of adding some salt and pepper to my current garlic powder and paprika mix .