Tales from Adolescence

December 31, 2018

Tales from Adolescence: New Year’s at Jewel with Stoner Kelly

You know you’re in the Chicago suburbs when you’re at Jewel.

I don’t remember when I met Stoner Kelly. Jewel was full of colorful characters and I recall there were some silly nicknames, but nobody had a name like Stoner Kelly.

My first recollection of him was as I walked to the break room one day and saw this tall, hirsute, mouth breathing man, with large bags under his eyes, wearing a butcher’s apron and staring into space behind the meat counter. In other words, he looked stoned. All the time.

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March 7, 2018March 7, 2018

Tales from Adolescence: My Trip to the Dean’s Office

My public school record is immaculate: 13 years and not a single detention, referral, or suspension. But that record came close to having its first blemish when I was sent to the dean’s office in high school.

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October 23, 2017October 23, 2017

Tales from Adolescence: Kill Bill and Jewel

Note: In this occasional series, I’ll tell tales from my youth. Some will be about me, others about my friends. In this example, it’s the latter.

In high school I worked at the local Jewel grocery store. It was a pretty decent job; the hours were flexible and the pay we good. I never saw myself as a model employee, but compared to my coworkers I could be seen that way.

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